know me by His scars.

When we’re anxious, when we’re grieving, when our hearts are heavy, when life just gets HARD, where do we go? What do we do? Do you turn to your Rock of Refuge?

“Be my Rock of refuge, to which I can always go; give the command to save me, for You are my Rock and my fortress.” – Psalm 71:3 (NIV)

It’s funny how I can receive several Words from the Lord that I just can’t quite make sense of why I’m hearing it; and then suddenly all of the pieces click into place.

I’ve had a tremendous amount of preparation for an event that’s only just happened – the FBU (aka friendship breakup. That’s a weird acronym, but I’m going to roll with it).

A few days ago, I was reading a few paragraphs in a book where the author touched on a sharp painful friendship breakup she’d experienced. While I sympathized with her, I also kind of thought to myself what a silly thing. Childlike.

To be clear, in my life, the FBU wasn’t as the result of some grievous incident, just life moving along, time changing circumstances, choosing different paths. And my (former?) friend felt the need to really put a pin in it and break off association because of it.

Did I actually think being refined in the fire was going to be painless?

Not that that makes it any easier.

I’ve had my share of poor friendships, poor choices, hurt from friends, particularly through elementary and middle school, but think the idea of adults behaving as children like this is just as I said – silly and childish.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” – 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV)

There used to be a time for a lack of understanding and grace. For childlike reactions to the world around us. But we’re not children anymore. We’re not drinking milk here. This is meat. So I’ll chew and swallow it and spit the bones.

The heart of the matter, I am quite certain, is because we now have very different core values. Different goals. Different families. Different gods. And that’s probably what grieves me the most.

“If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were rising against me, I could hide. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship at the house of God, as we walked about among the worshipers.” -Psalm 55:12-14 (NIV)

If I truly valued this friendship, are there things I could have changed about my own behavior to better reflect love and maintain the relationship? Sure.

But I’m not going to compromise on what I believe to soothe feelings and foster something that’s not honoring to God.

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.” – Romans 1:16 (NIV)

In light of this, I’d like to present the idea that perhaps all relationships are not worth fighting for or saving. We aren’t called to keep the peace (talking to you, fellow people pleasers). We’re called to make it.

“If it is possible, as far as depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18 (NIV)

Annnnnd we’re called to do good, to be a blessing.

“On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” – Romans 12:20-21 (NIV)

We do the work God places before us. Plant the seeds where we are right now. Water what we’re able. Then we do the next thing. God’s the only one who gives the increase (Acts 3:6-9).

So when our paths diverge, we move forward, knowing God is sovereign, and nothing is outside of His grasp.

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” – Genesis 50:20 (NIV)

We stand firm on the Rock, trusting that He is a good God. That He is able to keep me.

“My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.” – Psalm 57:7 (NIV)

Keep pressing into Jesus, because the best is yet to come!

Emily