know me by His scars.

I don’t know about you, but for me it seems like there’s always something new that God’s rooting out in my life.

Lies of the enemy He’s silencing, parts of my fighting flesh He’s subduing, places He’s shoring up my heart.

It’s an interesting path, this process for growth in our Savior. Buckle up and get ready to look some things up – I’m putting a lot of references in here.

First we’re justified. We believe in our hearts that God has raised Jesus from the dead and confess Him with our mouths, and so we are made just-as-if-I’d-never-sinned before the eyes of Abba Father, who has adopted us as His children (Romans 10:9-10, Galatians 4:4-7).

Then we’re sanctified. Sanctification is the process of being made holy, of being transformed into His image. Repeatedly remolded, brought in and out of the fire to be refined, changed, made holy – “set apart,” or if you recall from an older post, made ‘hale,’ whole (Romans 12:2, 1 Corinthians 6:11).

Until finally one day, we’ll be glorified – truly made as He is – when we see Him face to face (Romans 8:30, 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12).

But until that glorious day, it’s the process to get there, that continual sanctification process. Over and over and over again.

And sometimes that’s painful, which makes sense – because honestly, what part of being in a fire sounds comfortable to you? Remember, dying daily? It means dying daily (Luke 9:23).

This week (last week now, this post is slow in coming) I’m feeling more settled, comfortable resting in His promises, trusting that He will do as He has said. Last week (the week before that)? I was in the fire and my flesh was screaming.

We don’t like to talk about it – our weaknesses. I’m no exception to that. That I’ve apparently got a toddler somewhere inside who wants to whine that, “it’s not fair!!” at the slightest provocation of God doing something in my life that I don’t like. It’s not pretty.

To clarify, I’m not drowning in condemnation (there IS no condemnation for those in Christ – Romans 8:1) over this reaction. I’ll give myself a bit of grace here too, because I did bring that right back to Jesus, who worked it out in my life.

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed – not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence – continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.” – Philippians 2:12-13 (NIV)

But we like being settled. Comfortable. Sometimes we even get a sense of entitlement around it. God, I follow You – I shouldn’t have x, y, z as a problem!

That’s not reality though. My heart was puffed with pride around those specific circumstances – digging around, looking for a way to make it all less fair – to justify the hurt I wanted to feel, instead of the freedom God’s graciousness gives me.

It’s almost funny how pride is like that: willing to pay any cost to feel ‘right,’ even if that’s harmful to others or even to ourselves.

And in the midst of this self-involved cyclical drowning, what does our beloved and gracious Savior do? He steps into that storm I’m letting brew and speaks, “Peace! Be still!” (Mark 4:39) and quiets me with His exquisite love.

He reminds me that He is God, not me. He is the Potter, He can mold me and shape me and change me and, yes, even break me as He sees fit and sees necessary (Jeremiah 18:5).

His plans aren’t my plans. His ways aren’t my ways. His understanding is not my understanding. Yet He is working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Rom. 8:28). And “we have the mind of Christ” (1 Corinthians 2:16).

Christ has perfect communion with the Father, and because He has given us the Spirit to reveal Himself to us, so we too can see beyond the veil that separates us and step into His heart. He has good plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11), He only thinks good thoughts toward us (1 Corinthians 13:5), He wants what’s best for us, and HE is ALWAYS what’s best for us.

Still my flesh fights back – it’s for my good? Okay, sure, maybe one day. But it’s still not fair! Not everyone surrendered to God’s will has to “x, y, z!” You fill in the blank, but then let’s both take another step back here.

What is fair? Fair is a holy and righteous God being holy and righteous. On my own, I am neither holy nor righteous, and the wages of my sins is death (Romans 6:23). Fair is getting the judgment I deserve, eternal death.

Fair is going back to the Garden and seeing that only blood can atone for sin – and the blood of animals doesn’t cut it (Hebrews 9:22).

But His free gift, while I was still a sinner, is eternal life (Romans 6:23). He “appeared once for all at the culmination of the ages to do away with sin by the sacrifice of Himself” (Hebrews 9:26b NIV) .

How great this love He has for us: “For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to Him through the death of His Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through His life!” – Romans 5:10 (NIV)

He didn’t just die for us and save us and leave us here to flounder. His promises are all ‘yes’ and ‘amen’ (2 Corinthians 1:10) and He has promised that what He’s started in you, He’s going to finish (Philippians 1:6).

He knows I don’t add up, that on my own I can’t add up; He loves me anyways. So what does He require from me on it all? To act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly (Micah 6:8). Put even more simply? To love Him, believing in the name of His Son, Jesus, and to show that love in action by following His commands (1 John 3:23).

Even more simply? Love God, love people. It’s not burdensome (1 John 5:3).

Although, again, we won’t be able to do that perfectly until we’re one day glorified and in His presence. Until then, He wants our honesty as He works that out in us. He honors honesty. As our flesh whines, we bring that to Him and lay it at His feet. Every last nasty inch of it. Ask for His help to be willing to allow Him to remold us as He wills.

For me personally, in this particular wrestling, I sought Him out wholeheartedly, I found Him (Jeremiah 29:13), and He gave me the contentment I asked Him for.

“For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for Him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have.” – Philippians 1:29-30 (NIV)

It’s not an easy road, but it is the one that I have been called to, the one I will daily press into, knowing that “our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18).

Also that, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” – Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)

I don’t know about you, but I want that harvest of righteousness and peace. I want to sow good things and trust that as I plant and water where led, God will give the increase (1 Corinthians 3: 6).

It is by constant use we are trained to distinguish good from evil (Hebrews 5:14), so daily, I will choose to follow, to fight for the faith (Jude1:3).

As we grow in this discernment, we’re better able to cultivate a spirit of thankfulness, which gives us insight into just how gracious and generous God is to us. How deeply He answers every single cry of our hearts, and even more so when our puffed up pride is blocking our vision of it.

He’s building me up, not tearing me down, so whatever He places before me, I can choose to receive it and say, “thank You.”

I mentioned earlier in this post that it was slow in coming, that’s it’s even the end of a new week outside of this specific occurrence in my life – and you know what? A new week means new things to face, new sanctification, new fires to step into. But He’s still the same God. Still gracious, still faithful, still trustworthy.

Proverbs 28:1 says that “the righteous are bold as a lion,” and in 30:30 that the lion “retreats before nothing.” He makes us bold; we can have confidence in Him.

He’s able to keep you. Let Him.

The best is still yet to come.

Emily